A Matter of Balance

The Tiger Woods situation has some people arguing that adultery is a private issue between a husband and his wife. This post takes a look at two scriptures that have been used by those who think the media and everyone else should be quiet about Tiger's infidelities.

One scripture, "...He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone..." seems appropriate because Jesus said it in a passage about a woman caught in adultery:

John 8:
2. And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them.
3. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they had set her in the midst,
4. They say unto him, Master, this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act.
5. Now Moses in the law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
6. This they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as though he heard them not.
7. So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
8. And again he stooped down, and wrote on the ground.
9. And they which heard it, being convicted by their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the eldest, even unto the last: and Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.
10. When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
11. She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

The problem with trying to use it to convince others to leave Tiger alone is that doing so misapplies the verse; no one has condemned Tiger to death. No where does Jesus say that the adulteress shouldn't have been exposed as such, only that he without sin should be the one to begin her execution which has never been an issue in Tiger's situation.

Moreover, the passage shows that public exposure was the path to God's mercy and the woman's repentance just as public exposure was the path to Tiger Woods' reluctant but eventual statement of guilt and intended repentance.

The other scripture is, "Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?" (Matthew 7:4).

Frankly, I'm appalled that anyone would trivialize breaking the Seventh Commandment (Exodus 20:14) by equating adultery to a mote (speck). What then, considering that the Commandments aren't ranked by magnitude, might be equated to a beam?

In defense, a more appropriate verse is likely, "Judge not, that ye be not judged," from the same passage in Matthew 7:

1. Judge not, that ye be not judged.
2. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.
3. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
4. Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?
5. Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

The problem with using this passage is that because God doesn't see any sin as being worse than another as we might see murder as being worse than stealing, and there's a distinct comparison of magnitudes in this passage, this scripture isn't about sins but is about the non-sinful things some may criticize or think they need to help other people fix about themselves.

Also countering the erroneous belief that "Judge not, that ye be not judged," is about sins is that Jesus instructed us to "Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment" (John 7:24).

Even so, we weren't given much of an opportunity to judge Tiger because his lovers began confirming his infidelities within a few days and God has already judged adulterers:

1 Corinthians 6:
9. Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
10. Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.

The fact is that Tiger's philandering has been the worst kept secret and the media has known about it for a long time without printing a word.

What changed?

When Tiger crashed his vehicle, the accident became a matter of public record. The public wants to know how and why accidents happen as well as if people were injured or property damaged and to what extent. It's the media's job to keep the public informed. Reporting accidents also helps keep the public safe because it's the easiest way for us to learn what to do or not do.

After that, it's simple back-tracking from the accident to its underlying cause: Accident -> reckless driving -> upset over argument with Elin -> his texting Rachel Uchitel -> adultery. Thus, Pandora's box was opened.

Another reason adultery shouldn't be a private matter is because such a violation of the Ten Commandments erodes the fabric of society which is everyone's concern. Too often, silence is interpreted as consent and in no way should we ever allow anyone who breaks the interpersonal Commandments the illusion that s/he's behavior has gone unnoticed or will be without consequence. While a person not in the public eye deserves the attention of family, friends, associates, and church; a public figure who travels the world needs the watchful eye of the public to hold him or her accountable especially after years of concealing the behavior from the public has failed to effect a change.

Although we've all heard or read about how intrusive the media can be in regard to the personal lives of celebrities, especially the tabloids - and I do not condone the excess or the fabrications - however uncomfortable it may be, the situation is one that Tiger Woods brought upon himself.

By committing adultery, he proved himself to be immoral.

By texting Rachel where Elin could catch him at it, he displayed poor judgment.

By blaming Elin for ruining their Thanksgiving, he exposed himself as a blame-shifter.

By driving recklessly, he unleashed the media.

While I'm sure those who use the two scriptures examined here think they have the best intentions, taking scripture out of context and picking scriptures to the exclusion of others in the Bible leaves them on the slippery slope of using the Bible to say whatever they want it to say instead of having a balanced outlook of the scripture.

Everyone else needs to be aware that since there is what people say the Bible says versus what the Bible actually says, they need to study the Bible for themselves.

Tiger Woods is a great golfer, but not a good man and it's better for us to see him as he really is than it is to hold an unbalanced view of him as being like the other celebrities who manage their lives without engaging in the scandalous behavior that Tiger has.

If Tiger's lucky, having his adultery exposed publicly, like the adulteress in the Bible, resulted in true repentance rather than mere lip service and the painful memory of his exposure will keep him from behaving badly in the future.

Bell's Palsy or Stroke?

The pizza arrived at 7:30 P.M. on the Wednesday before last. I relaxed, watching TV and sipping water until I had an urge for a box of vanilla milk shortly after midnight.

But the left side of my mouth couldn't close around the straw.

I started to freak. Had I had a stroke?

I checked myself to see what else was different and prayed, "Lord, did I have a stroke? What do I do? What is it?"

The answer came back, "Bell's Palsy," in that still, small voice within my spirit.

Wanting to make sure it wasn't a stroke, I got on the Internet. Everything I read at the Mayo Clinic, MedlinePlus, the Merck Manual, WebMD, and other sites Google gave me said to go to an emergency room immediately. Feeling a check in my spirit for that course of action, I continued to study the pages and was gradually reassured.

Men are the usual victims. I have no family history of stroke or heart disease. I'm younger than the typical age range of those women who did have a stroke. I've never been diagnosed with hypertension. Most of all, stroke affects the lower left part of the face and is usually accompanied by the left arm and/or left leg being affected as well, while Bell's Palsy affects an entire side of the face, only, from forehead down, and from nose to ear.

Wondering what might have caused it, I checked the web sites for Bell's Palsy before calling my chiropractor for an adjustment. Everything fit.

However, my D.C., said there wasn't anything he could adjust to fix Bell's Palsy and he wasn't about to adjust my neck, anyway, because he didn't know that it wasn't a stroke and didn't want to make it worse, if it was.

Fair enough.

On Monday, I called my regular M.D. for an appointment to get an official diagnosis for Bell's Palsy. However, because of him taking time off, his appointment book is full until Nov. 10. The nurse asked a series of questions and relayed them to the doctor. When his answer came back, it was that he'll see me on Nov. 10th and if I wanted to get checked out sooner, I may go to the walk-in clinic he named.

Off like a shot, I arrived at the walk-in clinic and was given a five-page intake form to complete that inconsiderate, partial idiots must have designed. For example, instead of allergies to medicines being filled in on page 1 where doctors like it for quick reference so they don't prescribe something that'll kill their patients, allergies were to be listed on page 2...and page 4.

What the...?!

Yes, allergies were to be listed on page 2 and listed again on page 4 with the reactions. If I had been smart, I would have reviewed all five pages before starting to complete the form so I could list them on page 4 that wanted more information about the allergies and enter "See page 4" on page 2. But I didn't have that foresight.

Returning the clipboard to the receptionist, she reviewed my pages. "You didn't do this section," she said about the two-inch square box I had left blank.

I didn't appreciate her tone of voice. Was she copping an attitude with me?

"I didn't understand it," I replied.

"It's your Family History." She read, "Father/Mother/Grandparents/ Brother/Sister..."

Yup, she had an attitude.

"I know that," I sniped back. "It's all those initials that I didn't understand."

"Oh!" She went on to interpret:

Heart disease.

(No.)

Stroke.

(No.)

Cancer.

(That must be the "CA" that I saw; the others still didn't make any sense to me.)

"You didn't sign this," she said in a better tone of voice, pointing to a signature block on the last page.

"Sorry, I don't sign for things I haven't received," I said.

She handed me a privacy policy statement and I signed, acknowledging receipt.

Sitting back down to wait, I couldn't get into "Judge Alex" on the TV although the case sounded really funny. What would Jesus do about this twit of a receptionist and the stupidly designed intake form? There are people who definitely should not be interfacing with the public and I don't subscribe to the "Turn the other cheek" philosophy because it's for a conquered people of which I am definitely not a member. Him raging in righteous anger seems more like it except flinging the receptionist's papers about and driving her out with a whip of cords (John 2:15) would be drastic overkill as well as get me arrested for assault.

One of my college professors who taught computer programming also functioned as a group therapist after hours. We had gotten close enough for her to invite me to Christmas dinner and one year she advised, "I can be angry and you can be angry, but it's a lot better for me if you're the one who's angry," as a way to deal with aggravating people.

Thinking about her advice, maybe I should have put the monkey on their backs by filling the Family History block with "NTIKOBIDUTFLAADKFWYL" ("None That I Know Of Because I Don't Understand The Freaky Little Abbreviations And Don't Know For What You're Looking") and let them sort it out.

Before I could calm down, the nurse called me in and took my blood pressure: 208/103.

The doctor saw me immediately.

After I explained what happened the week before and finished with what my doctor said that morning, the young East Indian doctor said, "You can't diagnose Bell's Palsy over the phone and with your high blood pressure, I'm concerned you may have had a stroke. I'm going to send you over to the county hospital emergency room and they'll do CT scans and an MRI..."

"To diagnose a stroke," I interjected having learned that from my research. You can't treat a stroke by yourself because it may be caused by either bleeding or a clot and incorrectly treating one will accelerate the other that actually caused the stroke and make things worse.

"No, to diagnose Bell's Palsy," she lied, not knowing that I already knew how Bell's Palsy is diagnosed.

I kept silent. I don't know what her background is, but she was sounding a lot like a couple of doctors who left the Canadian health care system to practice here in the U.S. who did nothing but prolong my pain some years ago. The first was a French Canadian orthopedic surgeon who ordered chest(!) X-rays when my hands suffered from carpal tunnel syndrome, a worker's comp case. I switched to another doctor, an American Chinese, as soon as I could.

The second was a few years after that, an English Canadian HMO (spit!) family practitioner who ordered three MRIs with a prescription for a narcotic when all I needed was a $35 chiropractic adjustment that I finally went and got for myself out of the network. After that, I immediately submitted paperwork to change to an American Hispanic doctor whom I'm still with although I'm no longer in an HMO.

The walk-in clinic doctor continued, "I'll call over so they'll expect you and we'll get an ambulance to take you there."

An ambulance to go two blocks? I don't think so! The one time I needed an ambulance, it cost me $400 and my PPO insurance didn't pay any of it.

"The problem with an ambulance is that I'll be over there and my car will be over here," I hedged.

"Do you have a friend that can get it for you?"

"No," I lied back at her. Bad form, I know, but expedient since I wasn't going to discuss my finances with her nor let her argue with me.

She had me sign a waiver for the ambulance and sent me on my way after making me promise to go straight to the emergency room. On my charge sheet, she had written "N/C" for no charge and "Bell's Palsy" for the diagnosis.

So, diagnosing Bell's Palsy needs CT scans and an MRI?

No, she had manipulated me because, my guess is, she didn't want me stroking out in her little clinic. At least, I didn't have to pay anything. I never did mention the receptionist nor the form.

At the hospital's triage station, I was relieved to see that their form was done right. Allergies to medicines right in front, up top. For complaint, I entered, "Referred by [name of walk-in clinic]: Bell's Palsy or stroke? High blood pressure."

I was seen right away. Blood pressure: 156/106.

After the doctor had me wrinkle my forehead and nose, smile and frown, check my eyes and ears, etc., he diagnosed Bell's Palsy, gave me a prescription, and instructed me to keep my appointment with my regular doctor on Nov. 10 for follow-up. No CT scans. No MRI.

Hah! Evidently, Bell's Palsy CAN be diagnosed over the phone if the right questions are asked.

About my blood pressure going over 200? "The 156 isn't alarming and blood pressure fluctuates, but you should discuss it with your doctor if you're worried about it," he said.

While waiting to get my prescription filled at Wal-Mart, I used the blood pressure check station that's next to the pharmacy: 149/85.

After I was done shopping, I checked again: 117/96.

Good.

As far as the Bell's Palsy goes, the cause is unknown. The facial nerve (Cranial nerve VII) passes through a tiny channel (facial canal) through the facial bone. The nerve gets inflamed which pinches it and causes paralysis on the side of the face where it is located. Most people recover spontaneously within a few days to six months. Some recover in a year. A few never recover. Corticosteroids such as Prednisone are believed to speed recovery.

The major concern is that without a full blink and not being able to close my eye (other people may not be able to open the affected eye), it may dehydrate and sustain permanent damage. My Rx included over-the-counter (OTC) eye drops for the day and an OTC ointment for while I sleep to ensure protection and hydration.

Living with it is inconvenient and awkward, but bearable as long as I don't have to talk too much since I can't enunciate as clearly as before.

The doctor also prescribed an eye patch to keep my eye closed while I sleep. The nurse recommended using paper tape instead. The nurse was right. The eye patch doesn't keep my eye closed although it does protect my eye from dust and other flying objects since I can't blink or close my eye to protect it while I'm out and about.

The moral of this story? At this point, I'm not really sure. All I can say is that I'm getting more prejudiced against non-American doctors who are practicing in the U.S. and know only that God doesn't lie.

Of that, I'm utterly convinced.

The Bad, the Great, and the Tedious

Taking me three times as long as I should have to find the half-dozen items on my list because the store is rearranged, I find myself in the electronics department next to the laptops looking at accessories.

"What's the difference between a notebook and a laptop?" a male customer asks a saleswoman.

A few questions later, she falters at his asking about wireless.

"May I answer that?" I ask. At their response, I continue, "All new laptops should come with wireless by now. What you need to watch for is which standard they're using."

"Which standard?" he asks.

"Yes, the draft 802.11n is 80% approved and will be official maybe late this year, surely sometime next year. With such a high percentage of approval, some companies are making compliant products already. If the computer you want doesn't use the 802.11n standard, you should wait, if you can, to buy it when it does because it's so close."

An older saleswoman joins us, then goes and checks their routers. "Here's one," she calls over to us. He and I go over to her while the first saleswoman leaves.

"Yes," I point to the box. "See this? This is the standard you want. Make sure your laptop and router match." I point to another router. "See this box? It uses an older standard. If you get the 802.11n on your laptop, it'll work because it's backwards compatible, but it won't be as fast. As long as you're buying new equipment, you may as well get the latest technology."

"How do you know about this stuff?" he asks. "I took some classes to learn about computers, but they didn't teach anything about this."

"I used to be a programmer; different system, but the principles are the same. If two sides don't use the same standard, they can't communicate or don't communicate as well as they could."

"Oh, no wonder! Say, can you tell me how people are able to steal other people's data when they're using wireless?"

The saleswoman leaves.

"Essentially, it's radio like your cordless and cell phones, just a different frequency, and the sniffers tune in. That's why you'll need to get a VPN, a Virtual Private Network, if you'll be doing anything sensitive like using passwords and doing online shopping or banking. A VPN makes a tunnel for your data to go through so sniffers can't see it. You'll have to google to find one. If you just surf and read, don't worry about it because you won't be submitting any personally sensitive information."

"Thanks a lot! I learned a lot and I think you gave me more help than the salespeople would have."

"It's possible. I just ordered my fourth laptop and I've always known more than the salespeople."

"Fourth laptop?" His eyes are big.

"The first hardly counts because it didn't have the hard drive I wanted. The salesman lied about the size and I had it about two months while going through him, his manager, and up to the district manager before they accepted it back. My third got stolen last July while I was in California and the fourth is to replace it."

It's Monday evening and my new laptop arrives the next morning, more than a week earlier than Dell said to expect it, only five days after I ordered it. Wow! How great is that? Not only did it arrive a lot faster than my last one, it doesn't have all the pre-loaded trial software crap I had to delete off the other. Much better!

I'm ready to go online with it before the new CD from my ISP arrives, so I decide to set up the connection myself since I have my username, password, and the ISP's phone number on my eight-year-old laptop.

First, download and install a firewall from ZoneAlarm to keep the hackers out. Check.

Next, the ShieldsUP! test at the Gibson Research Corp. to ensure the firewall didn't leave any open ports for the hackers to sneak through. Check.

Firefox because it's safer than Internet Explorer. Check.

SpywareBlaster to prevent malware from getting into those little hidden places in the first place, probably why Ad-Aware and Spybot-S&D never found anything after I ran it on my old laptop. Check.

Ad-Aware. Ad-Aware. Ad-Aware. Ad-Aware. In four tries, I can't get more than half a meg of the free version to download. Hmm, it hasn't found any adware, spyware, or other malware since the first time I ran it on my old laptop, so maybe I'll be okay without it for awhile.

Spybot-S&D to catch and kill malware if it gets past SpywareBlaster and its own defensive measures. While it overlaps a lot of what Ad-Aware covers, it also covers what Ad-Aware misses, and vice versa. That's why it's best to have two good antispyware programs. Check.

Avast! antivirus software to handle viruses, trojans, and worms. Check.

System updates - there are 41 of them. (No, I didn't get Vista.) The estimated download time at 49 Kpbs is over seven hours. How tedious. I think about going to the library to use their high-speed connection, but rather stay here watching "Monk," "Without A Trace," and "Law & Order" on TNT and USA. I fall asleep and nap during a couple of episodes of "Walker, Texas Ranger." Check. Finally.

I guess maybe I'll start working on my (ugh) income tax return tomorrow during the "N.C.I.S." marathon on USA.

Or maybe not.

[Note: SUPERAntispyware is another good antispyware program but since it's weak on defensive measures, takes about an hour and a half to run, has a bit of nagware, and doesn't uninstall cleanly, it's best reserved for cleaning up spyware and malware that other antispyware programs can't eradicate.]

Little Foxes

I pick up grocery items lining them up on the conveyor belt to check out. Ensuring the heavy items will go first into the trunk of my car, I concentrate on getting those sacks put in the front of the cart until the clerk finishes and is waiting for me to pay.

I swipe my credit card, sign, and push my cart away to the wall to see what happened to my crushables that the clerk piled into the cart to make way for the next customer in line. I can't find the pretzels.

Stepping back to the counter, I report to the cashier, "I can't find my pretzels."

She pulls them out from under her counter.

I frown at her. What were they doing down there?

"I thought you were done," she explains.

I shake my head. Whatever gave her that idea?

"Do you want to pay for them?" she asks.

I feel myself getting an attitude. "Uh...yeah!" How else am I going to get them? If I don't want them, why did I bother coming back to ask about them?

Since she already started checking out the couple's groceries behind me in line, I have to wait and hear her tell them how this is her second job and that she's been up since 4 A.M.

Oh, I bet that's what happened. It's almost 8:30 P.M. and she's tired. Good for her for working so hard, but why did she hide my pretzels and try to make like I did something to cause her to do it?

After a while, the wife observes that it'll be faster for me to go to an Express lane rather than wait on their full cart getting checked out.

The cashier escorts me to an Express lane and asks the cashier there if she can take care of me.

"Only if she's paying by cash or check. My credit card machine isn't working."

They look at me and I shake my head, no. I don't care how small the purchase amount is at this point. If she hadn't hidden my pretzels under her counter and tried to wriggle out of her mistake instead of accepting responsibility, I might have handed over the cash, but now, let her work it out.

At the next register, my cashier puts her head close to the other's and speaks too softly for me to catch the words. I get a sense that something isn't right, somehow.

After I finish paying the new cashier, I ask what the other one said was the problem.

"She said her credit card machine quit working," he replies.

"Excuse me?" I knew it!

He repeats himself.

"No, that wasn't it. The machine didn't quit working. She did," I retort.

"What? She said..."

I wave my receipt tape. "My card went through just fine and here's the tape to prove it. She quit scanning my groceries and when I discovered my pretzels were missing, she pulled them out from under her counter."

"That's weird." He frowns.

"Yes, and then she lied to you about it, but that's okay because you got the straight story, now."

A troubled look crosses his face before he wishes me a good evening and I leave.

Examining the tape after I unload the bags, I see that she subtotaled three different times for reasons known only to herself. Three subtotals while scanning only $50 worth of groceries. Maybe she was so tired from working two jobs that she accidentally went into overdrive at the third subtotal, added the tax and got the total without meaning to do so. That's not such a big thing.

The problem is that she didn't say anything about it to me, evidently thinking I'd pay and leave, and her error wouldn't be discovered until I was home and it was too late. Little did she know that I'd miss my pretzels only five feet away from her register.

She committed such a tiny mistake, made it worse trying to conceal it, and then lied about it to the Express cashier who now knows what she's like.

Amazing.

John 4:22. For there is nothing hidden, which shall not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light. (NKJV)